Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Here's Ike

I'm a proud mother. Look at that handsome face.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Pink and Pretty

A neighbor of mine had a tea party this morning. It was a mother-daughter tea party. All the little girls wore sun dresses. We sat outside on wicker lawn chairs and fanned ourselves in the 95 degree sunshine. The cheese sandwiches sweated, the chocolate melted. The ice cream was a joke.

The invitation asked my daughter to bring her favorite tea cup. My daughter brought a brown handmade ceramic mug.

I have a lot of good friends here in this small town but sometimes I think that the only thing I have in common with them is that we are all mothers.

Friday, July 15, 2005

I Like Ike

I had a baby. A boy. Isaac Oscar Petersen. Ike.

I like him. I really really really like him. I love him. I did right from the start. Right when they handed me his bloody sqirming screaming body I loved him. I just want to eat him up, I love him so much.

I didn't feel this way about my daughter. Immediately after she was born, I kept repeating, "A baby came out of me, a baby came out of ME." It was so amazing and strange. Here was this baby. It had been inside me. I held her and nursed her. I looked at her quite a bit. But I just felt a whole lot of wonder. Where had this little thing come from?

I certainly liked her. I thought she was beautiful and wonderful but I didn't feel like she was my child. I just felt like she was in my care. I think the difficulty of the task (not killing this little living human) made it pretty tough for me to think about anything else.

I loved her after a while. And of course now there's nothing on this earth that I love more than her. But it really had to grow over time.

But Ike--right away I loved him. I could tell he was mine (and Todd's). I could tell that we had made him and that he was our son. And I could tell that I was really going to like him.

I don't know why it's been so much easier this time. Probably because I have done it before. I know what I am in for. I know that he is going to grow up to be a real live person (not stay an infant forever.) And there's probably more than that too, I don't know. But I can tell you that I like the feeling. I really really really like it. I love it.