One Was Johnny

Benefit Auction for Miss Josephine

2008-11-25T17:04:00.004-07:00

My cousin has put together an online benefit auction for my new baby cousin Josephine. She was born with Trisomy 18. You can read more about her and the strength of her parents here.

The auction is here. It will last for about a week and all proceeds will go to help with her medical costs.

I have made two little wrist pouches for the auction.

The first one is red, blue and green. It is 5 1/2" by 6", the perfect size for your cash, credit card, keys and phone. It is made of a blue vintage reproduction quilting cotton, red fine wale corduroy, and a lime green zipper. The pouch is fully lined and has a blue wrist strap. There is a label that says "High Horse" on the red side of the pouch.

The second pouch is blue, brown and yellow. It is 5 1/2" by 6 1/2", also a perfect size for your cash, credit card, keys and phone. It is made of a quilting cotton, recycled yellow wool, and an orange green zipper. The pouch is fully lined and has a yellow wool handle.

Total Package

2008-06-06T23:29:00.002-06:00

Total Package
Originally uploaded by The Anchovy.

I made this package as a birthday gift for our 5 year old neighbor. It is a tote bag with her initials, a pencil roll, and a small zipper pouch holding a sharpener and an eraser. Inside the tote is a nice pad of drawing paper.

The floral fabric is a nice heavy thrifted sheet. The red is a thick chunky woven fabric of some kind ( I need to learn fabric names.)

Lately I've been giving tutus and fairy wands and crowns as birthday gifts but I thought this girl in particular might have enough of that type of thing. So I made her a little art bag instead. I got the idea for Amanda Blake Soule's book, The Creative Family.

You can see the inside of the pencil roll here.

Fabric Scrap Swap

2008-05-30T20:55:00.023-06:00

A week or so I signed up for a fabric scrap swap at Itchin 2 B Stitchin. It was fun to choose some pieces that I thought other people would like. Some of them are pieces that I've kept for a while, thinking that I'd use them SOMETIME and just haven't. But I thought they had potential, so I'm sending the challenge on to others. Some pieces are leftovers from past projects, and some of them I just cut off of really large yardage that I have (from the other people's stash thinning.) Here they are:

Cowboy Ike

2008-05-24T12:40:00.005-06:00

The past month has been ridiculously busy but now I am glad to say that things have slowed a bit. School is over (summer break!) and I turned in a pretty major grant application. I'm happy to have it all finished. Now I can show you some of the things I've been working on (in the wee hours of the night).

I made Ike some "boy" dress ups for his birthday in April. He still prefers the tutus and fairy wands, but at least he has some options now.

Here is the cowboy suit. He already had these great boots from Santa Fe (thanks to Todd's mother.) So I just made him a little leather vest and chaps. I used an old thrifted leather coat and some other scraps I had stashed. I stitched some scroll patterns into the chaps, and just sort of made up the patterns for both. I was really happy when the actually fit him. We still need to get a little cowboy hat but I think he's pretty cute, even without it.

Tiny Film, Sort Of

2008-05-13T23:52:00.003-06:00

This summer I'll be taking a week-long course with SpyHop. I'll be learning some digital film making projects that I can do with my (elementary school) students next year. They sent a representative down my way last week to work with one of my classes making really tiny stop motion films. She had to leave before we were finished so tomorrow I get to finish the project with the students on my own. I spent some time tonight tinkering around with iMovie to make sure I know what I'm doing. It's is really basic, and not very finessed, but here's my first try. I just happened to take a bajillion pictures of my kids playing on their new tire swing the other day. Ta-da! Tell me what you think.

Like Mother

2008-04-24T06:00:00.004-06:00

The other day Zoë set up and executed this project all by herself. I just loved watching her dedication and amazing concentration. And mostly I tried to stay out of the way. I think she's a really cool girl. I think she's thinking up and doing projects that I didn't do until I was way older.

A Big Boy

2008-04-18T17:17:00.003-06:00

Ike is turning three on Wednesday. It's about the busiest time of year for us and for some reason I decided I could make him a huge amount of homemade presents. What!? We'll see how much I actually accomplish.

Here's a really easy one. I was inspired by Kirsten to do this and it was so quick. The 3 shirt. It's a shirt he already had, so I didn't go out and buy anything. And I used one of the very last tiny scraps of my favorite vintage fabric ever. It'll make me happy every time he wears it.

Easter Weekend

2008-03-25T21:20:00.006-06:00

Todd came home on Saturday afternoon which was great because that was my 30th birthday. I am now 30. Hooray! It feels like this will be a good age.

I had fun getting ready for Easter with the kids. On Friday night we dyed our eggs. I boiled a dozen but a few of them cracked so we ended up with only nine. That was funny because our egg dye kit came with nine colors. So it didn't take us long at all to dye them all.

On Saturday morning we woke up bright and early to make it down to the town Easter Egg "Hunt." You can see from the picture that it isn't much of a hunt. Instead it turns into more of a trample, as kids scramble to get the eggs. Some eggs have tickets inside that you can redeem for nice prizes and Easter baskets. I'm usually glad that we don't find those eggs (although we WOULD take one of the bikes, of course.) I didn't get a picture of the actual egg gather up because it all happened so fast, and I was pretty concerned about losing my children in the chaos.

On Sunday afternoon we had our own Easter egg hunt at home. It was nice and quite, and the kids kept stopping to open eggs, instead of trying to find them all. But that's okay. It was nice anyway, and we were glad to have Todd home with us.

More Camera Stuff

2008-03-18T00:45:00.005-06:00

Todd's still away and I'm just chilling with the kids (and still working and all that.) We've crossed over the difficult part of him being gone. It seems like the first two or three nights are really hard. Then after that, we're on a roll. We hit a new kind of routine and that makes everything easier. I'm grateful for this. He'll be gone for several more days.

Here are a few pictures I took today when we were out and about. It is so fun to have a camera that I can take around all the time. I'm loving it. I have a lot of fear that I really don't know what I'm doing with photography, but I think these three are not too bad. On one of them (the gross taco) I was playing around with the digital macro.

I've also put a few pictures on my art ed blog that I took in the classroom today. I think it will be so much easier to post about what I do in the classroom, now that I have a camera to carry around. I can just pull it out during any quiet moment. And I love seeing kids' hands while they're drawing and working. So check it out.

New Camera

2008-03-16T00:23:00.006-06:00

My birthday is coming up and Todd gave me my present early. Actually he just went out of town for a week and asked if I'd like to open the gift before he left. I think he regretted giving me the option, because of course I wanted it early.

It's a new camera. A really fantastic new camera. One positive thing about having a gear and gadget junkie husband is that he doesn't buy cheap stuff. He gets good stuff. So.

It's a Canon PowerShot SD 870 IS. It has a good zoom lens and I'm sure a whole bunch of other stuff that he'll help me figure out when he gets back. I also love that it's so small.

It's nice having the camera while he's gone because it's giving me something to play with. Even though I'm super busy right now, I'm finding time to play. I even made a really cool cozy for it, which I'll post about later (trying to figure out how to take a picture with the camera INSIDE the cozy.)

Here are two pictures I took of the kids on our walk yesterday. And yes, they are totally not in focus (I prefer to say "soft focus") and all that, but I like them anyway. And don't worry, Todd will give me lessons when he gets home.

Men of Tomorrow

2008-03-07T16:49:00.004-07:00

I've been tagged..... (my sister Josie tagged me)

1. Pick up the nearest book (with at least 123 pages)
2. Turn to page 123
3. Find the 5th sentence
4. Post the next three sentences
5. Tag 5 people
"Are you ready to sign a confession? Or shall I give you a taste of how that gun felt when I applied the pressure?" She writes a confession, knowing it will mean her death.

I think everyone I know that blogs has already done this one, so I'm kind of up a creek. Let's see. . .

Todd
Kirstin
and I guess anyone else who wants to!

Patchwork Pillow

2008-03-05T08:01:00.007-07:00

I am taking the week off from work. It's supposed to be a really nice long prep week, and I AM prepping, I guess. But I had to start out the week with a really therapeutic project. I had to sew something start to finish.

This project took me most of Monday to make, with several stops and breaks. I am happy that it was done start to finish in one day, though. And that I didn't have to buy a single thing to make it.

I made this patchwork pillow (yes, I took most of these pictures outside on the sidewalk--I needed sun!) I really practiced the technique for making wavy irregular seams. It was so fun to make this, and by the time I finished, I feel like I really have the technique down.

This pillow is intended for my living room couch. Mostly it doesn't match or coordinate with anything in my house, but I really don't care. It makes me so happy to look at it. I used so many fabrics. I didn't count but I'd say it was around 15 different ones. Each of the fabrics are my favorites. So when I see it, I get a tiny peek of 15 fabrics that I really love. I think that's one of the things I like about sewing: you get to make things for your home that will give you a little joy all the time. Anyway, it was a super fun project and it was super therapeutic. I don't have time to sew a lot anymore, and when I do, it's usually not something so creative like this. Mostly it's sewing knee patches on jeans. This was so much more fun.

Sassy Apron Swap

2008-03-04T14:27:00.005-07:00

I signed up for my Aunt Lucy's Sassy Apron Swap (I never added the button for it--sorry!) I was a few days late sending out my apron, but I'm happy to say that it's actually on its way now, hooray!

Here's the apron that I made. My partner wanted something that was both fun and functional. You know, good for wiping your hands on.

I started with a heavy white denim (to prevent soak through of spills). Then I added panels of hand towels. These are for wiping your hands (my aprons are always stained on both legs). The blue panels are also two large pockets.

I finished the apron with two bands of decorator weight fabric. It doesn't show well in the pictures, but there are small dots and lines of blue that hopefully tie all the colors together. Blue and green are really springy colors to me. The blue is for the blue sky that finally returns and the green is for all the buds and tiny leaves on the trees. I am so looking forward to the return of these two colors in my neighborhood!

The apron turned out kind of heavy, but I hope that it will really be functional. I hope my partner likes it.

Handmade Christmas: Play Silks

2008-01-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

This year Santa brought play silks for Zoë. We bought them from Dharma Trading Company. I bought seven of the 35" square Habotai scarves and two of the 35 X 84" veils. I think some people use the satin silk scarves for play silks but I like the low sheen of the Habotai a little better. The veils are definitely thinner silk than the scarves, but that just makes them more fluttery.I dyed them in the microwave which was super fun, I have to say. I followed this tutorial. Since there was really no mess, I could dye these one at a time, here and there whenever Zoë was out of the house for a few minutes.

She loves the scarves and both kids use them a lot. Also all the neighborhood kids. We have lots of ballerinas, super heros, pirates and princesses. They also use them for fort building and as scenery for their train and building block play.

Zoë wasn't SUPER excited when she received the scarves on Christmas morning but it's clear that she's thinking of new ways to use them every day and they are used FAR more than her other Christmas gifts. So I think that they are a hit. And I want to make more.

Pay It Forward

2008-01-07T16:07:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty late at posting this, but I signed up to Pay It Forward from my cousin Angelic's blog. You probably already know what this is but in case you don't, here you go.

I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this Pay It Forward exchange. The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

I already received a wonderful Christmas tile from Angelic. I'm not sure what I will send, but I think you'll like it.

So, anyone out there interested?

Happy Anniversary!

2008-01-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

Todd and I are celebrating our 7th anniversary today. And of course, it's been just like any other day. One year I'm sure we'll have the time and money to do something special (more than just dinner at Chili's) but this is not the year. The timing is kind of tough. It's right after Christmas so the money is all spent, and it's right before we go back to work (school starts TOMMORROW! What?!)

I told Zoë that I was going to post about Todd and she said, "You mean about how great he is?" Exactly. He is great. He's the greatest. This picture is an outtake from our wedding announcement photo shoot.

I can't express to you how amazing my husband is. He's smart, so smart. He's funny. He's creative. He's talented. And above all, he loves learning. There's never a time that he's not exploring something new, from photography to computer programming to playing the ukelele. He's just the best.

Also he helps me in so many was. For example for work he helped me make a DVD that plays images of Utah landscapes in a loop (as inspiration for my students as they worked on their projects). He taught me how to put art images onto my iPod so I can show them in the classroom over the TV. And tonight he helped me extract a two minute clip from a podcast that I'll play in class tomorrow. People think I'm so technically savy but really it's all him.

And he's about the best dad a kid could have, really. I could go on and on about this. But I'll just say that my kids love their dad and they are lucky to have a father who has given up so much of his professional and creative time to spend with them every single day.

I love Todd more and more every day and I still can't believe that I found such an amazing person. He really is unlike any other person I've ever met.

Handmade Christmas: Jams

2008-01-03T12:23:00.000-07:00

Christmas PJs are a big tradition at our house. I made a pair for Todd and I a few years ago and they're lasting (fortunately we haven't outgrown them or anything.) But the kids get new pairs every year on Christmas Eve. I was pretty surprised that they totally were not expecting them this time. They were so excited when we showed them to them. I guess kids don't really catch on about traditions for a while.

Anyway, I couldn't be happier about these because the kids have pretty much worn them constantly since Christmas. They change in and out of them all day and wear them every night. I've washed them a few times already. Making clothing for your children is always risky business. Mostly they hate what you've made and refuse to wear it. Fortunately that did not happen this time. I think flannel and cozy have something to do with it.

Ike's picture is the closest we have to something in focus. You just can't get that kid to stand still. Also Zoë is trying her best not to laugh in the picture. It was Christmas Eve and she was pretty much twitching with excitement.

Handmade Christmas: Small Quilts

2008-01-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

This year I made a bunch of small quilts for Christmas using my 5 year old's drawings. I have been saving drawings for a while, intending to embroider them. But I really don't have a lot of embroidery training, and although I like the way it looks so much, I don't have the patience, really. I am an immediate gratification kind of person. So I made these.

I start by tracing the drawing onto white or cream muslin. I just used a pencil because I can never find my wash out pen and I've decided to stop buying a new one every time I need one. So, trace it onto the fabric. Then I just start sewing strips of fabric around the center, log cabin style. I go specifically for wonky here and I am never very careful about measuring my finished size, in fact I just eyeball it, making it bigger than I need.

Choosing the fabric is my favorite part of the project. I just have a thing for making color and pattern combinations. Really, it's the most fun.

Then I pin a piece of batting and backing fabric to the back, um, obviously and just start sewing. I use a lot of pins and start out by sewing the picture. I just shorten my stitch, let up on my tension, and go really slow. I go over each line two or three times, and sort of break the drawings into sections in my mind so I can sew them easily.

After sewing the drawings, I change the thread to white or pink or something coordinating, and just quilt all around in a square spiral, through the log cabin parts.

Next I add any hand stitching, appliqué or buttons. The back of the snowman quilt actually got kind of messy, so I stitched another piece of fabric over the back, to hide the mess. I think maybe it just made it look messier.

Next I wash and dry them to crinkle them up and fray the edges.

Then I just sandwich them into frames. Some of them really didn't fit into the frames (remember that I totally didn't measure?) So I just cut into them until they fit, then washed and dried them again to refray the edges. Some of them fit the frame size pretty closely, and some of them are smaller so they kind of "float" in the frame, with a piece of colored paper behind them. Oh, and I actually bound one of them and added a hanging sleeve on the back. I just felt that it should be free.

There are no rules in this type of little quilt. I just looked at them and tried to think of what should go where. You probably notice influences from some other craft bloggers. With all the great inspiration out there, it kind of just mixes together into our projects, doesn't it?

This was a fun project for me, but of course my daughter Zoë felt like I totally wrecked her drawings with some of the colors that I chose. I guess that's what happens in collaboration some times.

Handmade Christmas: Mix CD

2007-12-29T22:23:00.001-07:00

I thought I'd go over a few of the gifts that I made for Christmas this year. I almost never document the things I make and although I almost can't believe this, I'm finding that I actually forget some of the things I've made for people. So this year I'm taking notes.

Todd and I made four mix CDs for some good friends of ours. They often say that they need some new music in their house. So these mixes were to share some of our favorite music. All four CDs had different types of music, I think. Or just a different tone for each, I guess.

It was really fun to pick the songs for the CDs, and listen to the new mixes about a million times to be sure that we picked the right songs. But even more fun was making the case to hold the CDs.

I looked online for a long time to find a simple paper case that could hold four CDs, but couldn't find one. So Todd and I talked for a while and came up with something that we really like.

First, the outside case. I didn't make this up at all. I followed the directions for the portfolio box from this book by Barbara Mauriello. (And by the way, I was lucky enough to take a four day book binding and box making workshop from Barbara and let me just tell you, she's awesome. I've been making books for a long time, and she had a lot to teach me. And it wasn't anything fancy. It was just very accurate and straight forward ways to do the most basic steps. I really learned so much. Anyway, her book is awesome. Buy it if you can.)

The sewing on the box was a little tricky, but I think it turned out okay.

Inside the portfolio is a 4 panel accordian. It's made of some medium weight chipboard and various heavy papers that I had. It was really fun to choose papers for this project. It was all about the weight and the colors. Also it was fun to do something totally without pattern. All the papers were solid colors. Plus they were random papers. One of them was even the cover of a Canson Biggie paper pad.

I made each panel individually, then joined them with hinges of handmade paper and Sobo glue. We printed album lists from iTunes and inserted them behind each of the CDs.

I pretty much want to make one of these for myself now, even though I mostly don't use CDs at all anymore, I just put them all onto the computer and onto my iPod. Maybe I'll just make one, fill it with blank CDs, and put it on display somewhere.

Maybe I'm lame.

Excellent Christmas Traditions Swap

2007-12-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

Over a month ago I signed up for the Holiday Traditions Exchange at Montessori By Hand. It was a lot of fun to participate in and it helped me get into a holiday mood a little early.

I have to admit that I have been the worst swap partner in the history of the internet. I received my package from my excellent partner Kristin at Knit One Quilt Too almost two weeks ago and I haven't even posted about it. I am here to say now that is was a wonderful package and we were so lucky to receive it.

The ornament that she sent was a beautiful needlepoint snowman. We love it. Some strange light in this picture makes it look brownish there at the bottom, but it's not. It's perfect.

Everything was wrapped so beautifully, my kids almost couldn't wait for me to snap a picture.

Kristin sent a really fantastic hand knit and felted stocking that was filled with goodies. She also sent a recipe for Anise Drops which sound so delicious. Finally her daughter Chloe wrote such a nice description of their holiday traditions that she made me want to join in on the fun.

You can see that my kids were pretty excited about the package.

And here is what I sent. It's a mini quilt (more on that in a future post), a hand bound journal, a few simple sketchbooks, and an ATC kit (that's what's in the black box.) It was fun to put this together and even more fun to receive such a wonderful Christmas package. I could really tell that Kristin is an excellent crafts person and that her family is very close, especially during the holidays.

My New Job is Starting

2007-08-14T23:51:00.000-06:00

I just got home from Back to School Night at the elementary school. It was my first official duty as a new visual arts specialist. I introduced myself and the new art program. It was pretty crazy but also pretty encouraging. The parents and kids and even the teachers all seem super excited. Which makes me feel more at ease. I'm really excited about this job and I hope it turns out to be a benefit not only to the kids that I'll be teaching, but also to myself and my family.

I have started a new blog, dedicated to my new job. Don't worry. I'm not quitting this blog. I'll go on posting here just as rarely as I ever have but I will probably post on the other one much more often. So if you're interested in what's going on, just pop over there.

A New Adventure

2007-06-04T13:58:00.000-06:00

I haven't written in a LONG time, and I know that. And many many people have told me that. I just always feel so funny about posting with no pictures, and I'm sort of in a camera funk. I hope to get a new one soon, I hope.

Anyway, I am finally writing to say what I was so excited about a few months ago, the thing I couldn't talk about for fear of jinxing it. Well, I can finally talk about it, without fear: in August I will start a new job. I am going to be an elementary school art teacher!

I had to write a grant to get funding for the position, then once we received the grant, I had to wait for the official contract from the school district. But now I have both and I could not be more excited.

My degree is in art education, and I am certified to teach art K-12, but when I graduated six years ago, I sort of thought I wouldn't get the opportunity to teach art for twenty years, or never. But this chance just sort of fell into my lap. I wasn't even looking for a new job. I just got a phone call one Saturday from the teacher that I student taught with, asking if I'd be interested in this new position. I was sort of wary at first, not ready for such a major life change. But now I realize that I'm actually super ready for a change.

The best part is that every step of the way has seemed to sort of fall right into place. I even got to plan my own schedule, so that Todd and I can take turns with the kids, and even take Zoë to and from kindergarten every day.

So, this summer I get to really spend my time thinking about what I'd like to teach. It seems that I'm going to have a lot of freedom. I can create the curriculum myself, as long as I tie it in to what the students are learning in their other subjects. It's a fun challenge and my mind is constantly working on it. I also get to come up with fun fundraisers, buy all the supplies, and design a few teacher in-service trainings about drawing, painting, and bookbinding. Oh, I can't wait!

Do any of you have any good ideas for art lessons for very young children? I find that I think of a lot that will be great for 8-11 year olds, but I need more ideas for the 5-7 crowd. Please, I'd love to hear what you've got.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2007-03-06T22:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a LONG time, I know. But my mind and time have both been filled to capacity with the thing that I cannot yet write about, for fear of jinxing big time.

But here and there I've still been able to do some decent making, I think. I recently received the Crafter's Companion and I think it's fantastic. There was one project inside that I've been wanting to make for months, ever since I saw the sneak peak of the projects.

It's this fabric box designed by Sarah Neuburger of The Small Object. You can see some good examples here and here.

So right away I made it. It was fun and easier than I thought. And I have all kinds of ideas for making more. Todd just built a new shelf system in my closet, which I LOVE. Not the premade wire kind. He designed and built a custom system just for me. And I can see a few of these working very nicely in there.

I especially like the drawstring top on this box. When you're just using it as a box, the top part lays down inside very nicely. And when you're ready to go, you can cinch up the top and it's a secure, portable bag. Very handy.

This one is going to my mother, for her birthday, late. Happy Birthday Mom! At least you can see what it is now.

Received: Miniswap

2007-02-10T00:12:00.000-07:00

I just got the best best best miniswap package from Kirsten. As you can see from this picture, Ikey could hardly wait for me to snap one quick shot. He tore into EVERYTHING right after this was taken. Then it took me a full day to get everything back from the kids long enough to take photos of it all.

We just loved what Kirsten sent. It was all so perfectly suited for my children. Here are some (several) photos.

First, Kirsten sent lovely pouches for both kids. Zoë's had costume jewelry and Ike's held three little cars. He's been driving them in and out of the "garage" all day.

She made these placemats which are a really great idea. We use fabric placemats every day. It's Zoë's job to put them on the table. She's going to love using these. And notice that great fabric on Ike's. I love it.

She also sent these pillowcases which were so immediately loved that I HAD to put pillows into them right away. You can see another picture of Ikey's here. He just pats it and says "train train train."

And for me she sent a lovely little tissue holder. I've been meaning to make one of these for a long time. I'm really happy to have one now. And the fabric is wonderful.

She also sent some pretty little Richard Scarry buttons that are so cute--I don't know if I'll be able to share them with the kids.

To top it all off, she also sent stickers, a great thrifted book, some beautiful little paper dolls, a dance mix CD, and a Valentine making kit. She said that I spoiled her but I think she spoiled us just as much, if not more. We're loving everything and so so glad we signed up for this swap. Zoë's been asking me if we can do it again soon. She loves having new "computer friends."

Mini Swap

2007-02-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

I joined the miniswap over at MommyCoddle. This is my first ever swap and I was pretty excited and nervous about it. I am partnered with the fabulous Kirsten. It was so funny because we both live in the same state and it looks like we have a LOT in common. Like we went to the same school, same major, same professors, and many many shared interests. It was so cool to meet someone that I have so much in common with--that I never would have met without the swap.

Her kids were really easy to plan for. In fact, I had to totally restrain myself because I think I had too many ideas. Here's what I sent:

For 21 month old Monkey: Fabric balls with embroidered letters on them--I got the idea here and the pattern here.

For 4 year old Thomas who loves all things with wheels, I made a car playmat. It was influenced by one my mom made for my brother about 20 years ago. I just drew on canvas with crayons and permanent markers then iron and dried it on hot to set the wax. I bound it with bias tape and steam a seam. Easy peasy no sew project.

For 6 year old Princess who loves pink (and purple) and projects, I made a quilted sketchbook similar to these and a coordinating clutch similar to the ones I made at Christmastime.

I also included some mix cds of kids' music, a flower brooch, a lavender eye pillow and a collage kit (i.e. lots of scraps of paper.)

This swap was so much fun to do. I really loved making for someone else's children. I can't wait to mini swap again.

SuperLove

2007-01-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

Todd really likes superheroes. This is a thing that I did not understand before we got married. Really, I didn't even know it. Maybe there were a few clues--he had an old ratty batman bath towel, a superman t-shirt. But that didn't seem at all out of the ordinary.

He's a writer and creative writing professor. I met him during his PhD. To me he was so smart. And literary. Like high horse smart. He knew everything and it seemed to me that he had some kind of "high tastes." And I liked him enough to marry him anyway.

Then soon after we were married a LOT of superhero/comic book movies started coming out. Some of them are not so good (the Hulk) some of them are wonderful (Batman Begins). To me it's been no big deal. But to Todd, it was a really big deal. It was like suddenly, somehow the stuff that he has always really loved is now okay to love publicly.

Plus he made a new friend, another professor in his department, who has a lot of toys in his office. Little lego guys and figurines. And now it was super okay to have superhero toys. So he has some. Gift giving was easy for a while--superhero toys and superhero books (of course the very literary superhero books.)

But after a while that sort of got boring. Maybe not for him, it's hard to tell. But boring for me. So this Christmas I tried to think of something I could MAKE that I knew he would like. And this is what I came up with: superhero pillows.

I looked online and through many of our books and found some great vintage logos and appliqued them onto dark blue french terry. I wanted them to look like someone's mother made them back in the sixties. I think I got it.
Now he's got the pillows in his office.

On a side note, Todd's superhero love isn't totally childish. He has written and presented two papers on the genre of superhero films at international conferences. So, he's keeping it grown up, I guess.

In My Head

2007-01-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

I have lots of thoughts running through my head--that I can't really share here yet. But I can say that I'm excited and hopeful about a possible new opportunity and that my head is spinning with really great ideas. The kind of ideas that I haven't had in so long that I forgot I was capable of them. I'm happy to be thinking this way again.

On another note, the weekend we closed on our house and moved in, I found a piece of upholstery fabric that I felt expressed the mood I wanted for our interior. It had the right colors, and the right feel. But I couldn't figure out just what to make with it. So it has been sitting in my stash for four years. Then as soon as I saw this TV cozy, I knew it would be the perfect thing. Now, many months later, I've finally made it. And I love it. Here's a not so clear picture of it. I'll get some more straight on shots someday. It was fun to "draft" a pattern to fit our large and funky shaped TV. I still need to bind the bottom edge with brown bias binding, but again, I 'll do that someday, I'm sure.

Todd has also been busy. He and some friends/collegues from the university made a movie on Friday. It was for this film festival. They filmed outside for something like 5 hours, in 10 degree weather. Then it got dark and they had to reshoot everything, for continuity. It went much faster the second time. The film is only three minutes long and I think their finished product is fantastic. The best part of it for me was seeing how happy it made Todd to work on something like that. On the crew of 6, he was the writer. But he also helped with every other aspect along the way--and they shot it in our driveway. I just loved seeing him so excited to collaborate with other creative people on such a quick, invigorating project. I'll tell you the results as soon as we find out.

I Can't Believe It

2007-01-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

I was picked as one of the winners in this month's Whiplash competition. I really can't believe it. I am so honored. I'm also very humbled. There were quite a few fantastic entries. In fact, I really didn't think I had a shot at winning. As I looked through the entries, I came up with a pretty long list of projects that I was sure would win. So, thank you thank you thank you. I can't believe it.

The prize is a copy of ‘The Crafters Companion’ edited by Anna Torborg and published by Snowbooks. I'm really excited about this. I have been wanting this book since I first heard about it. I can't wait to read it cover to cover and try every project in the book. I'll definitely review it once I have.

Thank you!

Colorful Clutches

2007-01-07T15:30:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more of the purses that I made before Christmas. They are my own version of the very popular patchwork purses that have been all over the place recently. They are about 8"x6" and close with a snap.

I had such a fun time making these that I really had a hard time selling them. But fortunately I took a picture, and I have more of all the fabrics that I used. The only difficulty I'll have now is deciding which one to make for myself. Because who needs four patchwork clutches? Well, maybe I do.

On a side note, Todd and Zoë and I have started a picture a day project for 2007. We're posting them at Flickr each Saturday. So far so good. I hope we can keep it up. I can tell that we'll be able to see into each other's lives more, really see what catches our attention and what occupies our time.

Zoë is 4 and we got her a used digital camera on ebay for Christmas. She loves that it's not a toy camera, but a real, grown up camera. I'm excited to see her progress this year. I'm posting the links on the sidebar. Check us out each week.

New Shoes for Christmas

2007-01-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

We had a bit of a sock monkey Christmas at the Petersen house this year. I love the Moda sock monkey fabric so so much and decided to make the traditional Christmas PJs out of the brushed cotton (like fannel). Then I saw these slippers and I knew they would be a hit.

I made a pair of comfy wide-legged pants for Ike and freezer paper stenciled a monkey face onto a long sleeved white t-shirt. I made a hideously poufy-sleeved nightgown for Zoë (which she's sleeping in right now--and has been living in since Christmas) and I made both of them a pair of these slippers.

To make the slippers, I started with this wonderul pattern at Stardust Shoes. The pattern is designed for 6 month olds and my kids are 20 mos and 4 yrs. So I traced their feet (while they were sleeping) then added ease and seam allowance and modified the rest of the pattern pieces to fit. It was pretty simple, actually and quite forgiving. I think if I knew how long these slippers were going to take me, I might not have made them. It was a LOT of hand sewing (4 monkey heads, all hand sewn) and lots of late night TV watching. But I think it's worth it to see those little monkey feet walking all around the house! I am entering these slippers in this months' Whiplash in the gift category.

But the Christmas monkey love didn't end there. My mom also made sock monkeys for the kids, and clothing for the monkeys to wear. Plus she made them each a sock monkey pillowcase for them to store their PJs during the day.

On Christmas morning, right before they opened their presents I was a little worried that perhaps we overdid the monkey stuff. They might not even be INTO monkeys. But I was wrong. They LOVE the monkeys. We're all happy about that.

I'm Still Awake

2006-12-15T01:06:00.000-07:00

It's one in the morning, ten days before Christmas and I'm still awake. And I'm not tired. I am really having a good time making Christmas gifts for my family. And after tonight, I feel like I'll be able to finish everything on time (I don't dare say early) without having to go the chiropractor. I'm feeling good and I'm happy.

I finished all the purse orders. That's probably why I'm feeling so good. They were all delivered/picked up today and I think they were all pretty well received. So hooray! Done! Not doing any more for a long time (or at least until after Christmas.)

I'm excited about spending the next few weeks focussing on my children. I've been trying to be more in the moment than I normally have and as a result, Zoë and I have had some really wonderful afternoons this week. She's the best and she makes me really happy. Here's a picture from yesterday which seems to capture her spirit in a way that I can't describe.

Have a great week. Everyone take it easy and strive for delight (not perfection) this Christmas.

Sticking My Neck Out

2006-11-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

I just did something that I'm excited about and a little nervous about--and I feel a little dumb about. I entered a book I made into a juried exhibition.

I made the book for work over the summer about a man named Howard Driggs. Our library (where I work) aquired his collection a year or so ago and the Special Collections librarians have been working furiously to organize it and make it searchable online. This September we had an official opening of the collection complete with a program, photo exhibit and open house of the collection's artifacts. I put together the photo exhibit, all the displays, and made books to give as gifts to Driggs' decendents.

I combed through his old journals (he lived from 1873 to 1963) and speeches to find inspiring quotes (he was a pretty inspiring man) then I searched through his photographs and selected images that corresponded with the quotations. I combined these to make a 50 page book that was pamphlet stitched into a wrapped cover.

It's a really simple book but I really feel like it was well received. During the family members' addresses at the opening, they made references to several of the quotes that I used in the book. They remembered him saying these things over and over when they were children. That made me really happy. Also, the family requested that I make 20 more copies of the book. That made me feel pretty good.

Anyway today I unofficially submitted it to a juried exhibit of handbound books. I don't know if it will get in or if it even really fits the show's paramaters. But I never ever submit anything to anything. I always plan to then I just wimp out at the last minute.

Well, this is WAY before the deadline and I've submitted. So hooray! We'll see what happens.

An US Project

2006-11-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

I love projects. Oh, I love projects. And as I mentioned before, so does Zoë. We are project people. We're makers.

Lately I've been trying to think of good projects that Zoë and I can do together. But mostly when I plan something, it doesn't work. It's too difficult for her, or it's not really interesting enough, or most often she has different plans for the supplies than I do. We don't see eye to eye on what the finished project should be or what steps we should take to reach that finished project.

I'm trying to be okay with this. I know it means that she's a creative person and that she's got her own plans and ideas (at age four.) These traits will be very useful to her as she grows into a woman. But for now, it can be pretty frustrating.

Today I had big plans for an US project. But it turned into a ME project, unfortunately. It was probably just boring, I guess. Instead of working together, Zoë tore up clumps of fake snow (batting) and scattered them all over the house "decorating." Um, cool.

So after I finished the ME project (and cleaned up the "decorations") I found a good US project:

No one had a problem with this project. Notice Mr. Snatchy Hand in the background. Oh, and those are sprinkles in her teeth, not disgusting cavities.

Finished Product

2006-11-14T16:16:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of the first bag I've finished from this order. I really like (love) this brown. It's a linen look fabric and with the interfacing behind it, it's just the most beautiful thing for a purse. I'm going to have to save some of it for a bag for myself.

The cut out shape in the front is actually an external pocket. I like to use it for my cell phone. It makes it very quick to reach when it rings, and protects it from key scratches. This bag is pretty small, just perfect for keys, lipstick, wallet, phone, pen, notepad and tissues. It also holds a cd jewel case perfectly.

Production

2006-11-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

I have entertained the idea of making and selling handbags for a long time. But it seems like EVERYONE sells bags, you know? Etsy has something like 16 billion items in the purse category. So instead of selling them, I make bags for myself and for my daughter (she now has more than she'll ever need.) And that's about it

But out of the blue last week a coworker of mine asked if she could order 4 clutches to give as Chrismas gifts. Then over the weekend, a coworker of Todd's stopped by to order "a few" bags. She left an hour later with an order for 12, and the promise of more orders before Christmas. Wow.

So it looks as though I've started selling handbags. I've never done production sewing and I am a little overwhelmed, but also really excited. I cut out 8 bags this morning and it didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would. It was actually even pretty fun (and it's the part that I normally just hate. Now I just have the fun part ahead of me--the sewing and embellishing.

Todd's going out of town for a week and I can see myself up late every night sewing. I can't wait! I'll post a picture of some finished bags once I get a few finished. Hooray!

I Think We're Gonna Be Alright This Time

2006-11-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

Zoë has never been much of a toy kid. She was the first grandkid on both sides of our family (now she's only joined by her brother Ike) so she was spoiled rotten with toys. But it never seemed like she really played with her toys. Instead of a player, she's a maker. She loves projects of all kinds. In fact, "project" was one of her earliest words. She likes to build forts out of sheets, concoct all kinds of crazy hammocks with string and laundry bags (these never work, by the way) and she especially likes art projects. Drawing is great, but painting is the greatest.

But I HATE letting her paint. It always turns into such a terrible ordeal. First there's the setting up--plastic garbage bags covering every surface, plenty of wet wipes, water, paper towels, a nice thick stack of paper. And squeezing out the paint is always such a nightmare. Zoë is a very particular person. The colors had to be in just the right spots on the paper plate, there had to be just the right amount of paint in each little blob, and of course, she always wanted to squeeze it out herself, which doesn't work, let me tell you. We quite often had tears and shrieks during the set up, before she even started painting.

Then there's during the painting. She always gets so frustrated by her limited toddler capabilities. She wanted to paint something much nicer that what her little hands were capable of. So she'd turn into hysterics and inevitable throw down the paintbrush, mix all the colors together with her hands, and wipe out all of her finished paintings in a muddy orange inferno of fingerpainting rage. Clean up was always rotten too. Dried paint everywhere, drips and blotches and handprints all over the place.

So I avoid painting. It's something that she and I don't do that often. But it's a particularly good bribe--a bribe that I used yesterday. It worked, we accomplished our goal yesterday and I conveniently let the time, "slip away from me." All too soon it was bedtime and we hadn't painted. I assured her that we'd do it today. Then today I put it off as long as I could. Finally while I was making dinner I could put it off no longer. I set her up, expecting the worst.

But you know what? It was great. I think she's taken some kind of major life turn. She painted carefully and happily for an hour. She gently and thoroughly washed her brush between colors, reminded me to change out the water each time it go too gray, and she came up with several great paintings that she's really proud of. And the best part is, when she decided she was finished, she cleaned it all up by herself. No kidding, clean brush, empty water cup, tossed paper plate and paper towels. It was the least hands on project I've ever had with her--and the most successful.

I think we're gonna be alright. I think she and I are going to get along so much better now. I think I might let her paint more often. I think she's wonderful.

Birthdays

2006-08-18T23:36:00.000-06:00

Here is the most recent little thing I've done--a birthday garland. Todd turned 37 this week. With school starting soon (Todd's a professor) and so many things changing around here, we decided to have a quiet birthday at home--no real party. We had ribs and cake. Yum. And of course presents at breakfast time because who can wait all day?

Plus we got the kids to bed early somehow (thank goodness), had a sitter come by, and the two of us went to the late movie. It was really fun to go and not even worry one bit about the kids screaming their heads off the whole time (they just slept and slept and slept.) I think we'll be working it this way more often.

Anyway, I love birthdays. Maybe I love them too much. On my birthday I feel like I'm walking around all day with a silly grin on my face. I feel like I have a great secret that most people don't even know about. But if they did know, they would certainly be very happy for me and maybe they'd feel a little honored to be near me, an honest to goodness birthday girl.

So when someone close to me has a birthday, I might be a little too concerned about making sure it's a special day. I do silly things (like birthday garlands, for example, or crowns with fake jewels) just so they can have nice surprises. Maybe I want them to know that I really remember their birthday and that I know just how important birthdays are, you don't have to TELL ME, because I know and I hope yours really is. Plus then I ask the birthday person if they're having a good birthday. I kind of ask it all day long. Because I really hope they're not dissappointed with their day. It's probably all just annoying. But I sort of can't help it. So there. Anyway, Todd said he had a nice, quiet day and that he was happy. I'm glad.

I'm Back

2006-08-18T23:23:00.000-06:00

I told my mom about this blog the other day. I told her she should check it out. She asked me the address and I had no clue what it was. That's kind of embarrassing. But what's even worse is that I haven't posted in over a year now. It doesn't seem that long ago. But I guess it is.

So now I'm back. I feel like I have things to say now. I'm finally out of the after-baby funk, I guess. Because I have so many ideas--a jillion things I want to do. In fact, I think I haven't written in a year bacause I've spent the past year working myself out of that funk and into a whirlwind of projects and committments. It's been fun and probably a little too hectic. I think I've been trying to do too much at once, and therefore not doing any of it very well.

So now I'm thinking that maybe if I slow down enough to document my progress here on this blog, I'll actually put some more organized thoughts into my projects before jumping into them. I'll probably get a lot less done, but what I do finish, might be done well. I'll let you be the judge.

With My Kids

2005-08-12T11:02:00.000-06:00

Last summer I heard a presentation from a woman who had 17 children. 12 of them were her own and the other five belonged to her second husband. Her house was always immaculate. Her make up and hair we perfect (according to someone's standards, I guess). She was very in control. She was explaining to the audience of women just how she "does it."

I listened in awe. At that point I only had one child and I wasn't nearly as in control as she was. She had some pretty good advice. It was basically what you'd hear from any time management guru. But then she said something that really caught my attention. She said that very early in her life as a mother she decided that she would never do anything that required a lot of thought and attention in front of her children. For example, she wouldn't try to balance the checkbook, pay bills or read until after all of her kids were in bed.

When I heard this I realized that was my problem. I am ALWAYS doing high attention tasks in around my kids. I try to sew, make books, bake, and read with my little ones around. I started feeling really guilty and decided that I too would never do any of these things again (unless the kids are in bed.)

But later that night, while I was getting ready for bed, I realized what a terrible idea that was. How would Zoë and Ike ever learn to be interesting, engaged people if their mother wasn't? My kids need to see me doing things that require attention. They need to witness creativity and concentration. And as they get older we need to do that kind of thing together.

So we set up a small table for Zoë next to my sewing desk. When I want to sew, I say to Zoë, "Let's go work on projects." I ask her what her project will be and then tell her about mine. We work together. It always ends up in a big mess that we have to clean up when we're finished but I think it's teaching Zoë how to use her time (and hands and brain) well.

I'd sort of rather have a somewhat messy house (okay, so it's very messy right now) and ruffled hair and no make up than have kids who have no idea what it means to think and explore and create.

Mei Tai

2005-08-08T08:55:00.000-06:00

I made a Mei Tai this weekend. It's an Asian baby carier. I guess you say it May Tie but I always want to say My Tie.

I have a Baby Bjorn and used it constantly when Zoë was smaller. I did all my grocery shopping with it, took walks, put her to sleep in church, basically I went everywhere in it. But with Ike I almost never put it on. I've used it once or twice but I just mostly haven't been interested. I made a pouch sling that I use a lot, but since it's a sling, it limits my activity quite a bit. I wanted another solution.

I looked around online at all the types of baby carriers that a person could make and I got interested in the Mei Tai. I found lots of patterns for it and decided that this one looked pretty good.

So yesterday I made it. It was a little complicated. I think a few months ago I would have been too nervous to try it. But I've had a lot of sewing practice lately and I was using only $2 worth of fabric (that I dyed myself) so I gave it a shot.

I'm so glad I did. I love it. It's really similar to a Bjorn but I think it's way more comfortable. Ike's weight is distributed much better across my back and hips and I think I don't look nearly so squished and squeezed when I'm wearing it.

Also it's more functional. He can face in or out and I can wear him on the front, like in these pictures, or on my back. Also it has a little hood flap that I can put up if he's sleeping or if it's really sunny. I also like the pocket on the front quite a bit. My hands can go in and give his bum a squeeze.

Ike was sleeping for these pictures so he was slumped down quite a bit. Before he fell asleep he was riding much higher with one arm hanging out the top. He fell asleep in just a few minutes. So that's a real plus.

The moral of this story is that I'd much rather have a Mei Tai that I made myself for $2 than a Baby Bjorn that I paid $80 for. Oh well. Live and learn.

Here's Ike

2005-07-27T13:32:00.000-06:00

I'm a proud mother. Look at that handsome face.

Pink and Pretty

2005-07-20T14:22:00.000-06:00

A neighbor of mine had a tea party this morning. It was a mother-daughter tea party. All the little girls wore sun dresses. We sat outside on wicker lawn chairs and fanned ourselves in the 95 degree sunshine. The cheese sandwiches sweated, the chocolate melted. The ice cream was a joke.

The invitation asked my daughter to bring her favorite tea cup. My daughter brought a brown handmade ceramic mug.

I have a lot of good friends here in this small town but sometimes I think that the only thing I have in common with them is that we are all mothers.

I Like Ike

2005-07-15T13:15:00.000-06:00

I had a baby. A boy. Isaac Oscar Petersen. Ike.

I like him. I really really really like him. I love him. I did right from the start. Right when they handed me his bloody sqirming screaming body I loved him. I just want to eat him up, I love him so much.

I didn't feel this way about my daughter. Immediately after she was born, I kept repeating, "A baby came out of me, a baby came out of ME." It was so amazing and strange. Here was this baby. It had been inside me. I held her and nursed her. I looked at her quite a bit. But I just felt a whole lot of wonder. Where had this little thing come from?

I certainly liked her. I thought she was beautiful and wonderful but I didn't feel like she was my child. I just felt like she was in my care. I think the difficulty of the task (not killing this little living human) made it pretty tough for me to think about anything else.

I loved her after a while. And of course now there's nothing on this earth that I love more than her. But it really had to grow over time.

But Ike--right away I loved him. I could tell he was mine (and Todd's). I could tell that we had made him and that he was our son. And I could tell that I was really going to like him.

I don't know why it's been so much easier this time. Probably because I have done it before. I know what I am in for. I know that he is going to grow up to be a real live person (not stay an infant forever.) And there's probably more than that too, I don't know. But I can tell you that I like the feeling. I really really really like it. I love it.

Do I Kick Her Out?

2004-11-01T11:08:00.000-07:00

Zoë has been sleeping in our bed a lot lately. She wakes up in the night, pads down the long hallway in the dark and enters our bedroom. From there she always walks all the way around the bed so she can get in on my side. I pick her up and plop her down right in the middle of the bed. It's amazing that she doesn't get smashed between us.

Todd thinks she gets cold in her own bed. That's probably a big part of it. But I can understand not wanting to sleep alone when everyone else (Todd and I) are in one bed on the other side of the house. It probably just doesn't seem fair.

This has happened for over a month now. Probably two. We were sick for a few weeks there in the middle which just made it worse. Now I don't know what to do about it. I sort of don't mind waking up together with our whole family. But she can't keep sleeping with us forever. For one thing, she really hogs the bed. Most nights she turns completely perpendicular to Todd and I. We just turn her back straight three or four times a night. Last night she actually worked herself around and her head was down under the blankets, near our waists. Also, I am pregnant and in just a few months we won't have as much room as we have now.

So I'm not sure what to do. But for now, it's kind of cool to share a bed with a two year old. Last night I dreamt that I was in a high-pressure newscasting job. The whole dream was stress. Zoë saved me from my dream when she called out from her dream, "No, it's not a beehive. It's NOT!"

Our Own Yard

2004-05-06T09:08:00.000-06:00

My husband and I recently bought our first home and we've been in it for about 10 months. So each season is new for us. I have some thoughts about it all.

First, each season brings with it tons (tons) of work. Winterizing your house, raking leaves, shovelling snow, mowing the lawn, clearing out the flower beds, preparing soil for a garden. Second, each season comes around very quickly. It seems that Todd just drained the sprinklers and closed up the swamp cooler. Now they're both up and running again. It seems to me that if you do that much work, it should last for a while. But it doesn't.

So here's what: we've been doing a lot of work in our yard. It feels like a lot. But our yard looks terrible. It's covered with ratty old grass (which we've been raking out), wilted blossoms from our fruit trees, tall grass around the edges where our mower can't reach, bits of cardboard, plastic and styrofoam that blows in from who knows where.

And the other day a friend of mine came over. She was friends with our home's previous owner. We walked to the backyard, she looked around and said, "Jeanne really kept that border up. It must have been a lot of work." Yes, it must have been a lot of work. She was an elderly widow in good health. All she had to do was take care of her yard. She did not work and she did not have a two year old. Of course she could "keep that border up."

I just wonder how other people can have such nice looking yards. Do they spend all their time on it? OR do they pay someone? Good grief.

Time for a Change

2004-04-29T08:49:00.000-06:00

This is the last day of class. That means gearing up for finals, pushing through them, then going home for the summer. The last day of class always feels so big and open. It's standing on the edge of a big big change. New daily routine, more free time. I always love the last day of class.

But I am not a student.

I don't have any big projects due. No finals. My work schedule will not change. But I still have that big open feeling. And I have it at the end of every semester.

I work at a university library and my husband is a professor. So although my schedule won't change, his will. And the pattern and routines of people all around me will change. So it will feel like I am changing. Which is wonderful. I love when things change. I get bogged down when I'm stuck in the same routine for too long. And I like rearranging the furniture.

On the other hand, I need some stability. I can't move every 4 months. It takes me a really long time to get reorganized when something major shifts in my life.

So I think I found the perfect situation for myself. I am surrounded by good change every couple of months but I don't have to actually pick up my stuff and move. I get my change fix, I guess. Without any real effort or discomfort on my part. Cool.

Through the busy, I've been happy.

2004-04-21T09:50:00.000-06:00

Our family has been so busy this week. Incredibly busy. Two or three functions a day on top of our normal work schedules. We've had way more sitters than normal--sometimes two in one day. And we've had house guests and company for dinner. I had a small presentation which was a pretty big deal to me. And my husband's got a book binding project that we've been rushing to finish on time. It's been great.

We can hardly breathe for how busy we are and I'm actually loving it. I don't know why. Maybe because the relief of finishing things on time, marking them off the list, just feels so good. That's probably it. I'm ready for a slow down but through the busy, I've been happy.

Accomplished

2004-04-16T08:12:00.000-06:00

I met a girl the other day. She is a student. English major. Hip type. So I've actually seen her around a bit. She makes me remember back when I was in college. It made me miss my old friends and being single. Mostly having my own time schedule. Go when I want to go, that sort of thing. I felt very independent and adult back then. Lately I've been feeling pretty dumpy and uninteresting.

So, when I met this girl I found out that she is my age. She said, "Yes, but you're a lot more accomplished than I am." I thought that was a funny comment and shrugged it off at the time. We talked for a while and I think she'll be a good sort of friend. But since then I have been thinking a lot about what she said. I'm accomplished? I've never felt that way before. I work at a copy shop. I don't PRODUCE anything worthwhile.

But now I'm thinking about what I have. I have a husband who is successful in what he does. And he's kind. I have a daughter. And I'm thinking of having another one. I have a college degree in a field that I like. I own a home. I spend the afternoon raking my yard and doing my dishes. And taking walks and going to the park. I am involved in my community arts organizations. I feel pretty good about what I have and where I am. I feel like I am moving in the right direction. I'm not all the way there yet. But I'm only 26 and I think I'm on my way. I just need to realize what I have instead of what I don't.

Artists can be testy. You know how we are.

2004-04-08T10:07:00.000-06:00

So I am the secretary of the arts council in my small town. I've been on the board for about six months now. I first saw the opportunity as a chance to get involved. I wanted to meet fellow citizens who love the arts and want to share that love with others. I certainly have done that. But I think I really didn't know what I was in for.

First, it seems to me that most members of our board have off motives. Meaning, they want our council to primarily benefit their own interests. And of course, this is human. But I feel it even stronger here. So much for opening eyes and ears. Instead it's, "I want to promote my gallery." "I want to create a larger audience for my orchestra." "I want people to buy my stuff."

I AM just the secretary. But I have some ideas too. Things I think would really benefit our community. I'd like to ask these board members for their opinions. But I dare not. They are not interested in anything new, it seems. They just want maintenance. "We'll just do it like we did last year." What about improvements?

Here's then next thing: these board members obviously have very different tastes. I suppose this is what you want. But these people seem to totally discount what they don't like. I can imagine their brains thinking, "Why would we support that? It's not even art." They would never say this out loud. Instead they each push only what they like. So the pushier people often win and we end up showcasing the same type of music, etc. over and over. Could we have some variety?

At our meeting last night, our president was explaining her duties to a few new members. She said, "A big part of my job is to keep us on task in our meetings. Sometimes we don't agree and get off track. Artists can be testy. You know how we are."

We.

That little word bugged me. Bugs me. Is it okay to call yourself an artist? I guess if your job really is involved in the arts. If you teach art, of one form or another. You should have the right, right? Still, it bothers me to no end when someone says, (with a sweeping arm and hand motion) "I'm an artist." Let ME call you an artist. Let someone else call you an artist. Call yourself a writer, a painter, a sculptor a dancer, a singer, a film maker. "We're artists," doesn't really work for me.

Where Did She Go?

2004-04-07T10:10:00.000-06:00

So I needed a space for reflection. I hope this is it. I used to do this type of thing through email--talk about my day and my reactions to it--but I don't think that will work for me anymore. I am in my own section of life now and none of my close friends can quite see into it. So I hold back what I would like to say, knowing that they probably wouldn't understand. In this form I have no particular listener. Maybe no one will read this. Hopefully someone will. The not knowing will probably allow me to be much more open with my words. We'll see.

This morning I found a picture of my daughter Zoë at seven months. Now she is 21 months old. In my life, 14 months is a short time. But in her life, it's ages. She was so small. I immediately remembered how she behaved at that time, how curious she was, how little she could do for herself. I miss that baby so much.

But how can I miss someone who jumps on my tummy and pulls on my legs all day? How can I miss someone who screams at me in protest when I do the dishes or make dinner? How can I miss someone who hugs my neck with her little arms, kisses my lips and says "I lob mommy."?

I don't want her to go back to being an infant. She would just grow up again. And I certainly don't want her to be stuck in infant phase forever (but I want a PUPPY, can't it be a cute puppy forever?) I was in the picture with her and my face looked even more exhausted than I feel now. So what makes me miss that baby?

Now my daughter is a toddler. Really, a small person. She makes decisions and demands. She gets excited. She likes to be involved. She cares about all sorts of things. And she's going to keep growing. Soon she'll be using full sentences. She'll be able to tell me exactly what she wants. Maybe even use the big girl potty on her own. I'll miss the baby but I won't be sad. These advances will make my life easier and easier.

Still, I hope I don't forget any stage of her life. I hope I'll remember how much she needed me in the past. Those memories will allow me to be amazed at all she is becoming.